Job Search

There’s an overwhelming inefficiency that accompanies most job searches, especially when you have no idea what you want to do with your life. You only know that if someone would give you an undertaking, you’d probably be good at it, if not because of an aptitude then because of your desperation to be doing anything at all. As you follow one bad lead after another- wasting precious fuel, both emotional and automotive- you find yourself looking longingly at the many landscapers hard at work, as you drive passed, and wishing that despite your years of essay writing, both worthwhile and crap assignments, that you were not a 5’2” girl with little upper body strength. There would be gratification in landscaping, which is more than you can say about waiting tables. But still, the driving around is better than sitting in front of the computer, clicking Refresh every 10 to 12 minutes on a Craigslist page or whatever job search engine you have up at the moment.

I guess the times that are most disheartening are the days that I find myself envying my cat. My sweet Olivia, who is content with a 13 hour nap and a balled up sheet of paper, will never have to worry about paying rent. While I would by no means begrudge her a  life of leisure—she is most deserving, and I often find her to be a much better person than I am—I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to not be concerned with work, bills, or my figure (she is a beautifully voluptuous feline).